Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
