i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
