i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
