I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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