so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Holy shit dude........stairs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
