So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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