I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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