i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
