An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
