Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
