i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
