if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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