i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize