Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
