google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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