brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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