I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So squirting runs in the family.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
