I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
