I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
