i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
