there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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