I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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