if you like me you must not know who I am
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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