it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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