After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
