Me too!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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