Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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