you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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