Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
