speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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