Cold hands, warm shart.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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