Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
