Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
FUCK WHALES
Randomize