Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
