: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
