Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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