I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
