never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
