i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
