at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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