i already hear my dad disowning me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize