She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
