I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
