What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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