im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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