Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My pussy is not your playground.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
