I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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