PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
