i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
