Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
