Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
