Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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