Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
