my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
