I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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