yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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