As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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