the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
