ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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