can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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