Can i not drive my cunt home
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
