I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
